My Truth and Reconciliation Journey

My Truth and Reconciliation Journey | Dwayne Uglem

At various points I've been invited into this walk to explore 'truth and reconciliation.' Truth about the stories and beliefs I have picked up in my life about the Indigenous People whose land we now live on, about our part, their part, and what I need to hold.

In 2008, when our Prime Minister apologized and the question of 'Truth and Reconciliation' followed, I was lead for a high school, college, and seminary that had invited First Peoples to attend. A colleague urged us to join this journey of owning the truth about our story and begin the steps of reconciliation. This meant I had to look at my own life and motives. Was this about being seen to be doing ‘good’, or were we ready (was I ready) to actually do something for more than a momentary expression. 

Looking back today, I am so grateful for the collection of experiences that helped me begin to acknowledge the naivety, prejudice, and even racist thinking that has been part of my life.

Almost two decades before 2008, my wife and I were invited to do a missions trip to Mexico. On this trip I had my first crisis of belief about how I viewed the experiences of other peoples and cultures. I didn't even know the term "manifest destiny" and I hardly knew the essence of "colonialism." I was just a want-a-be missionary looking for a chance to save people who needed Jesus (and assuming they would be in great need of what I had). The wise Mexican Pastor who was shepherding the church we came to visit sat me down on the first day of the trip and said, you just watch. He made it clear we would not be visiting the garbage dumps and sights of great need. Those were shocking and deeply disappointing words, but he had kindly given me the challenge I needed to let sink in. Maybe I was coming to hunt good stories of me doing amazing things for the kingdom. But then he made it clear, if I every wanted to actually move to Mexico and do life with his people, I would be welcomed with open arms. 

In some way, this experience held set the stage for this next journey. This was to a group of First Nation communities where several of our students had come from. Our host for this trip would be a man who I first met in our college and seminary's intramural hockey program, he was my defense partner, and he was Cree. On the hockey rink we slowly started to begin a friendship. This gem of a man, Abraham, would become a brother and mentor and prayer partner for life. I had (and still have) so much to still learn on this journey of 'truth and reconciliation' - and Abraham has been a gracious and patient guide to show me his understanding and expression of what reconciliation might mean.

Our little team joined Abraham on a tour of Moose Factory, Moosonee, and Waskaganish (his communities). We retraced the steps of many Cree students who found their way to our school in Saskatchewan from these James Bay communities. We attempted to enter these communities, become familiar with worlds we knew very little about, and consider the circumstances of their lives, and distances they travelled (much of which couldn't be measured in miles). Their families were trappers, invited to come from the east coast of James Bay (northern Quebec) to the west side (Ontario) to trap in this Hudson Bay (company) community. Only to discover their families weren't welcome in the local 'reservation' because they were from another province. So their families built a tent city to live in and eke out a living with no access to any typical supports. Yet, they had a church older than any I had seen on the prairies. Stories in their history of revival that had transformed communities in ways I was not familiar.

Here again, I was challenged on my motives and my assumptions. Who and what was the "First Nations person" in my head and experience. Who and what was the "European" in theirs. What was the picture I was here to capture? What was the story I was willing to find? 

At this point, I had been to Mexico, India several times, and now the James Bay region. In all of these places I had been invited to confront how white, western eyes tended to prioritize the tragic and not the wisdom and beauty that is also in these communities. 

In the community of my childhood we know were the reservations were in our region, but the only stories I had of 'First Nation' families and communities were the ones told in movies, news, or missionary reports.

In James Bay, I expected to hear about the trap lines, I had some imagination for the hardship and struggle of those homes and families and the oppression by governments, Indian Act, corporations, and churches. But far less capacity to conceive of the sacrifice and resilience, depth and beauty of these families and communities. The gospel was deeply at work in many of these communities long before I was born -- and that idea would need work in my truth and reconciliation discovery journey (in so many ways they had more to give me than I had to give in return).

The journey to our dorms was enormous for these young leaders. But in all sorts of ways I couldn't have guessed, the issues were more complex than the right to have long or short hair. I worked out of enormous ignorance and naivety, and instinctively guessed poorly at what might have been a struggle and a challenge in trying to reconcile our peoples. No clue of the poverty they navigated and no clue the richness that was also part of their lives. In their community, the gospel was at work in their home, kingdom living was being deeply practiced long before they arrived in our Christian school. In the world they came from they were raising up counsellors, civic leaders, entrepreneurs in eco-tourism, pastors, and education directors.

In their community, I was invited to laugh and live. They were kind enough to start to school me, and ask why I hoard, why I don’t value extended family, and why I always need more. They showed me the gospel and what it means to participate in the kingdom. Their stories revealed what it means to die for another. I pray for someone ‘in need’, they get in a car and drive across 5 provinces to sit with that person. Slowly, truth and reconciliation was beginning to chip away at my assumptions and beliefs.

I had never invited my friend to lead in our school, but as I watched him lead in the communities of James Bay, I was so embarrassed of what I had not noticed before. My friend and his family were among the most gifted, brilliant, capable people I knew. His family was already deeply and sacrificially serving communities across our nation. They were travelling across this country (often right here in Alberta) singing and encouraging churches, raising up counsellors, pastors, civil servants, and great parents. They understood the gospel, life, the land and community in ways I'm still only beginning to grasp.

What is Truth and Reconciliation? So much more than a day or an orange shirt (as important as both of those are). It is actually getting to know our Original Peoples and their stories. It is recognizing what us Europeans, with all of our racial grids did to oppress and impoverish these people. Confronting what has pushed us apart. It is confessing my assumptions and ignorance (dare I say my racism) - and acknowledging that I still am working to arrest my racial grids and that I do not yet instinctively live my kingdom values. It is returning to ancient words, like those of Moses and Jesus, where it is clear that the people of God should know what it is like to be enslaved and oppressed, and to call each other to love and care for one another in Christ.